best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize