I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
