You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
