Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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