I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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