She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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