I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
