At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Randomize
