I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
