What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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