some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
