grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No more Irish car bombs ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize
