Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
