Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize