Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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