i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
