No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
