Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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