I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
