i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Randomize
