I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize