her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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