you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
