Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
