Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The Olympian is in my bed
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