New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
