I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I touched a dick in church today
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
