$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
