I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
