if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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