dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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