Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
