He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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