spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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