Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
