I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
