nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
