hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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