the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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