we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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