therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
