When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
