So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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