all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize