it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
