i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
