I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
