I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize