1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
