In the future we'll all be gay
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
