she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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