then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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