we're chasing vodka with high fives
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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