I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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