I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
