babies were throwing up all over the place
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
