We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
