He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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