Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
