I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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