Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
