Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize