I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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