It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Randomize
