I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
