i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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